Love > Fear

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears punishment has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18

"Fear is a liar." I saw an image of this statement spray painted on a wall in a Google search. It spoke so loudly to me. Fear is a liar. It does not know how to speak life to my soul. It seeks to imprison my hope. It seeks to destroy my destiny. It tends to make so much sense that many times I allow it to have its way in my life. But love.....

Oh, Love. Love has nothing to do with fear. In fact, they are enemies. 

Guess who is stronger. 

There is no fear in love. In fact, perfect love has this amazing capacity to drive out, cast out, eradicate and obliterate fear. How does it do that? I'm so glad you asked. 

First, John explains that fear involves punishment. "If I do A, I will reap B." Herein lies the gospel. Religion says, "If you do bad, you get bad. If you do good, you get good." Pretty much any religion you come across has this at its foundation. I would submit to you that this is what John was referring to in this verse. It is referencing the Old Covenant Law that says you must do x,y,z to be pleasing to God. And, consequently, if you do a,b,c you are an abomination and cut off. This is, unfortunately, where much of the world, including the church, still abides. But Love....

Jesus came to show us the Father. He said, "If you've seen Me, you've seen the Father," and "I only do what I see my Father doing." The goal of Jesus was to show us that we were never meant to live under religion. We were created for relationship. Even the Mosaic Law, itself, was meant to show us that we can never be "good enough" to impress an omnipotent God. Seriously. How could little me expect to get everything right all the time? Jesus came to say, "That's not the point!" The point is that God loves you simply because you're you. Jesus came to fulfill AND put an end to the Law. He did that by becoming the perfect sacrifice on behalf of humanity. 

Here's where 1 John 4:18 becomes important. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says that He who knew no sin, became sin on our behalf so that, IN Him, we might become the righteousness of God. Jesus took the punishment for sin. (Many believe differently than I do on this but I happen to be of the belief that the one doing the punishing was not the Father, but religion, through the hands of men.) The emphasis here is on the word "took." Some might say "paid." The point is that it's in the past tense. It. Is. Finished. Done. Over. There is nothing that you or I could add to the perfection that is what Christ accomplished on our behalf. 

Pay attention to this. Fear says that what He did might not be enough. Fear is a liar. 

Fear asks, "What if it's too good to be true? You should really pay close attention to how you do x,y,z because it might not be good enough. God is a holy God, you know, and you're just a peon who is so far from perfect. There's no way you could deserve His love. In fact, you don't deserve love at all. Love is a lie anyway. You always get hurt. You can't trust anyone. I bet everyone you see is fake. You should keep them all at a distance, especially God." Do you see how that slippery slope begins? 

Sometimes fear says, "Just go to church, sing the right songs, say the right prayers and hope that it's good enough to squeeze you in to heaven. At least you're not doing a,b,c like those other people who are going straight to hell. You should probably stay away from them until they grovel before the Lord, say a sinners prayer, get baptized into the right denomination, fast and pray, and repent every Sunday like you did." Fear says that God is out to get you. But Love....

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love is not jealous

Love does not brag  

Love is not arrogant

Love does not act unbecomingly 

Love does not seek its own

Love is not provoked

Love does not take into account a wrong suffered 

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth

Love bears all things

Love believes all things

Love hopes all things

Love endures all things

Love. Never. Fails. 

If God is love, then this is a description of His character. This is where I'm pitching my tent. This is solid ground beneath my feet. This is love. The one who fears punishment has not been perfected in love. The goal of my life is to live in, basque in, swim in love. 

If He said, "It is finished," then I believe Him. If He said that I am righteous simply because HE made me right, then I believe Him. And if I believe that the door to the Father's heart is wide open for me then I have to believe that the door is wide open to the world. Whether you realize it or not; whether you choose to believe it or not, you are loved perfectly by the One who created you. There is nothing separating you from His heart. He calls you son. He calls you daughter. He calls you His. He declared your worth at the cross. You were worth the blood of His Son. The very best He had to give, He freely gave for you. In fact, the Bible says that before the creation of the world, Jesus knew He would go to the cross for us. He decided you were worth it. 

The kicker is, if you were worth it, so was the person standing next to you. That person might have completely different beliefs but they were no less worth His sacrifice. I know that makes us uncomfortable at times. But I fully believe that the only way to peace on earth is to understand this truth. We must allow perfect love to drive out fear. May it begin with me. 

The Secret To Happiness?

Thankfulness. It seems so simple. Like such a small thing. Like, "Yeah, sure, I'm thankful." And some days, "Yeah, sure, I'm thankful...but..." But there's plenty of things in life that, let's be honest, just suck. Right this moment, every person reading this is having life throw something at them; something hard, something hurtful, perhaps something downright heart wrenching. And sometimes it's hard to see the good. I get it. I do. 

I'm a mom of three littles, ages nine, seven and five. They are the hardest, most amazing blessings in my life. Some days I feel like I can give myself a high five for my SuperMom skills. Other days I want to crawl in a hole and pray for someone, anyone else, to take over. Right now, one of the hardest things to navigate is their relationships with other kids. What do you do when your child's heart hurts because of rejection? So. Hard. 

I was having a heart to heart with my nine year old daughter tonight. Sophia has one of the sweetest hearts I've ever encountered. She genuinely cares about people's feelings. She loves to make friends and for everyone to get along. God saw fit to give her to me: a compassion-hearted, non confrontational, "can't we all get along" kinda momma. It's not been easy to teach her how to navigate the waters of loving people and loving yourself; valuing people and valuing yourself. So, when one of her playmates says to her, "I'm playing with so-and-so right now and we don't want to play with you," or another says, "My mom says I can't play with you," and she comes to me in tears, my momma heart goes into battle mode. The momma bear part of me wants to smack those people upside the head for hurting my girl's heart. The more sane part of me realizes that this is one of those opportunities to speak some wisdom that will help to mold her little heart for the future. 

Tonight, we talked about the importance of thankfulness. I assured her that, although she doesn't always get it right (because who does), she is an amazing friend. I reminded her that she has a beautiful heart that wants to bring people together, but that sometimes people choose to separate themselves and it's hard to understand the why behind their choices. I explained to her that it's their loss. They are missing out on her friendship. And I know that she feels like she's missing out as well but there's one thing that can help heal the hurt and bring the happiness back and that's thankfulness. I encouraged her to be thankful for all the many friends that she has in her life, for the few that she has common interests with, for the ones who love her. Be thankful. 

I explained to my baby girl that, unfortunately, even when she's an adult people will choose to separate themselves. I reminded her of a very close friend who, just a few years ago, decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore. To this day, I still don't know why. She very abruptly left my life and the hurt was just so hard to get through. I still cry sometimes. But that was her choice and I refuse to take responsibility for her choice. I still love her and continue to pray for reconciliation but guess what got me through the grieving? You got it: thankfulness. God placed a new friend in my life. At first, I had no clue how important she would become to me, but as I focused on my thankfulness for her, our bond became even stronger. 

There is power in focusing on what is right in your life instead of focusing on what is wrong. Don't hear what I'm not saying. I understand that there is a time for grieving. Of course, there is. But thankfulness is what will carry you through it. I also understand the seriousness of clinical depression. I have lived through depression. I have lived through being ready to end it all. I do not take those things lightly. Thankfulness is a powerful offensive weapon in the face of depression. 

Thankfulness, for me, has become so much easier since I've understood the grace of God and have believed in His unconditional love for me. The more I focused on the fact that He is focused on the good in me, the more I began to see it as well. I found myself unconsciously speaking thankfulness in spite of circumstances. For example, I used to compare my possessions to what others had and it made me feel like I was missing out. All I could see was lack. I am now constantly thanking God for blessings that I have that might seem insignificant to some, like my bed, my kitchen, my washer and dryer, my van, my piles of laundry. Are any of those things the absolute best quality? Nope. Do I care anymore? Nope. I'm highly aware that, compared to much of the world, I am a wealthy person. I'm also highly aware that things and even people are not the source of my joy. God is the source of my joy. I do not have to have the latest and greatest to be happy. I'm thankful for what I have and, I believe, that opens my heart to receive even more. Thankfulness also helps me to have "open hands" when it comes to money and possessions. It frees me to give as well as receive. 

Tonight, as I sat on Sophia's bed, before we said our nightly prayers, I was honored to encourage her and myself to focus on the good; the good in life, the good in others, the good in herself. 

I would encourage you to challenge yourself to change your focus to thankfulness. Is the traffic bad? Thank God that you have a car. Are your dishes piling up? Thank God that you had food to put on those dishes. When you begin with the small things, the bigger things become easier. 

What are some good things that you can focus on today? What are you thankful for?

The Gospel According to 'Tangled'

The first time I saw the movie Tangled was at the theater with my daughter. I loved every minute of it. However, as I was sitting there in the dark, staring at the big screen, I was certain that I was watching a very different movie than my fellow theater goers. In my personal life, I had been going through a heart revolution. God had been teaching me about grace; about what He really accomplished at the cross. I was getting free from some wrong beliefs that had held me hostage for many years. One by one, He would cut the strings that seemed to entangle me and I was finally in a place where I felt safe calling God my Father.

I grew up in the church. My father was a minister (an excellent one at that and I would later realize that he had a better grasp on grace than I realized). I believe that both of my parents had a gift of compassion that I could clearly see in my own life. I am so very thankful for that. However, I had also latched on to many beliefs that were prevalent in our denomination: the wrath and judgement of God on people, living according to the ten commandments (the law), and the fear of being left behind, just to name a few. I basically viewed the Father as a judge who was pointing His ginormous finger at me from the clouds, eagerly awaiting His chance to zap me because I just couldn’t stop screwing up. And, of course, Jesus was interceding on my behalf, begging the Father to give me a little more time and to not kill me.

Okay, so I can hear some of your brains going crazy right now, trying to decide whether I’m a heretic or just a loon. That’s totally cool. I’m pretty secure in my identity now and it’s because of the truth that Holy Spirit shared with my heart about how the Father sees me. If you’ll stick with me, I’ll show you what I mean by using the movie, ‘Tangled’, as a picture of the gospel.

In ‘Tangled’, we meet a girl named Rapunzel. She is full of life, is a great friend, and even has a killer voice (I already like her). There’s just one tiny problem. She’s stuck. She has a great view of the world around her. She has dreams of experiencing the freedom that is out there. But she is confined, limited, restricted, stuck. And why is that? Because she’s been lied to. Mother Gothel has spun a tale of fear to keep her trapped, unable to recognize who she really is. (Are you starting to see where I’m going with this?) Her whole life she’s been locked away in the tower, held back by fear, and she was a princess all the while. Question. How do you think she would have lived had she known who she truly was?

So, along comes the dashing Flynn Rider, who helps her to see a way out. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is when they are in the forest after she’s made her escape and she is having an argument with herself over her choice. She hides her face in her hands one moment, declaring, “I am a despicable human being”, and swings from the tree by her hair the next, screaming, “Best day ever!” As I sat in the theater that day surrounded by little faces, I realized that I was witnessing the struggle between living under the law and living under grace. 

I had been where Rapunzel was, scared to death to let go of the law as my parent for fear that the bottom was going to drop out at any moment and I was going to find out that the good news was not as good as I thought. My first mentor in grace, Gina, who was a saint when it came to patience, poured into me for an entire year before I finally let go and put all my eggs in God’s grace basket. I kept holding on to the law as a “just in case”; just in case He actually turned out to be the big finger and not the Good Good Father I was coming to know Him as.

So, here I am witnessing the struggle for freedom in high definition and I am blown away by the good news of the gospel. Even now, as I write this, thinking back on the beauty of that truth, I am in tears. See, Rapunzel had someone who was searching for her; who knew her true identity and who longed for her to see it for herself. Every year, the royal family along with all the people in the kingdom would light lanterns and float them up into the sky in the hopes that the princess would see it and find her way home. Matthew 5:14 says, "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden." This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

So, Rapunzel’s dream comes true. She had always seen the "lights" from a distance and now she saw them close up. She actually experienced the kingdom and still ended up back with Mother Gothel (I've sooo been there). But watch what happens when her eyes are opened to what was inside her all along! She sees her true identity! She realizes that she has a family! She belongs! She is loved! She has power! She is royalty!

My absolute favorite scene in the movie that makes me bawl like a baby to this day is when the soldier bursts into the room to give the king and queen the good news that their daughter had been found. Seeing their faces, seeing them run to her, seeing them wrap her in their arms. It reminds me a story in the Bible of a father running to his son who had been lost but was found; who was ‘dead’ but was ‘alive’ again. In case you haven’t caught on, this is OUR story.

When the king and queen looked at Rapunzel, what did they see? They saw themselves. Genesis 1:27 says that we were made in the image of God. See, we’ve been lied to by religion. We’ve been told that we have to fit in this box and adhere to all the rules of said box in order to have value to God. One by one, the strings of the law have wrapped around us and maybe we’ve even felt like they kept us safe. But along comes Grace. And Grace reveals to us that we’ve been tangled in lies and that we’ve been royalty all along. Here’s the difference between having the law parent us versus having grace parent us. The law says you must do x,y,z in order to become a child of God. Grace says you are a child of God, and x,y,z follows that revelation. Woah! The freedom! And, yeah, it’s scary letting grace cut those strings. We feel like we’ll fall. But the truth is, it frees us to be who we always were to begin with. And, sure, we probably will fall at some point but grace is there to catch our fall and point us back to truth.

I believe that Grace is a person. His name is Jesus. Jesus came, lived in an earth suit, fulfilled the law, carried the weight of sin on the cross, and broke the power of sin (noun, not verb) when He was raised from the dead. Why did He do that? So that the Father could have someone to beat up instead of taking all His anger out on you? If I killed one of my children in order to stop myself from killing the others you would send my butt straight to jail (and rightly so). Are we better parents than God? Hmmm, I’m going to venture a big nope. People killed Jesus. The Father judged sin. It has been dealt with. It is finished.

Ephesians 2:4-9 says, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

Jesus came to reveal the Father and to restore us to His heart. You have been royalty all along. Grace has come to point you to that truth and to give you the power to live like it.

I would encourage you to ask Holy Spirit to reveal any strings that have been holding you down. What has been keeping you tangled? Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.” Ask God to show you the truth about that string and the truth about who you are in Him. Listen, there is a difference between doing something good (ie. going to church, reading your Bible, singing a worship song) because that’s what you’re “supposed to do as a Christian”, and having those good things flow out of a revelation of who you are in Jesus. It’s the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. I can assure you that God said He loved you and chose you before the foundation of the world. (Ephesians 1:4) His love most definitely came first. (John 3:16-17)

Hopefully, the next time you watch ‘Tangled’ you will be reminded that you are loved. You are valuable. You are royalty.